My Family I Love Dearly!
After a bout of uncertainty over the first part of the year, life has taken a turn for the better in many ways in the latter.
My wife and I enrolled into Integrity Bible Seminary: she is going for her masters in missions, and I’m working on my associates in theology. By the time we have completed our education we will not have our doctorates: this will help us in our ventures into the ministry field, which is something we desire to be able to do full time.
Four months ago we started our own business, Leap Generation LLC. It has been slow, we think we could have taken a better approach with it. We currently are in the process of revamping the business. We started it with the main purpose of it being a way for us to support being full time missionaries. We don’t believe where we started is wrong, but it would make it more difficult to do while overseas.
One of the things Daddy (God) has began taking us through a period of preparation of training, not in just one area of life but in all aspects of it.
He told us to sell our TVs that they were to much a distraction, to put away ‘childish things’. The training will cover everything from what we eat, drink, do, think, say and much more.
Another part of the process has been to start learning Spanish, which has been fun and interesting to say the least. We picked up two complete (OT & NT) Spanish Bibles: this being the case because of where we feel the Father leading us to go; which are Central and South American regions.
Downsizing: getting less materialistic items for the sake of just getting them, or even to fulfill desires isn’t important to us any longer. Now we weigh things in the scales of calling and Divine purpose. Does what we desire to attain furthering the Kingdom and the Gospel thereof? This is the wisdom that drives us in what we don’t and do acquire in life.
Another one of the things Daddy has really laid strongly on my heart to do is to really buckle down and write a book. This is something I had dabble with in the past but put off doing, then when I picked it back up, Yahveh stopped me from completing it.
I fully believe it wasn’t it wasn’t the right time, nor the right focus on what He wanted it to deal with. But now He has laid it heavily upon my heart to revisit and finish writing this book.
We are both very excited to see where the next three years open up, to where Daddy leads us for His Kingdom!
Today was a long day at work but a blessing in disguise. I had to take off yesterday in order to rest due to not feeling well. I am able to make that time up working early and later. I am grateful I have a job and an awesome boss that understands that.
I am also grateful God has placed so many great friends in my life. When I need prayer they come in agreement with the need to be met.
Tonight is short but it is late. I am grateful God gave me 2 of the best parents in the world. They help me with my daughters and I enjoy still having family dinners where we all sit down and talk about our day… even if we fight over who gets to speak next. It is the little things that make my day.
The Lord revealed to me some things the other night as we were worshiping Him. Since I am a mother myself the Lord showed me an example of what He wanted me to understand by using my own situation as a parent with my kids.
I have always enjoyed giving my kids things that they would enjoy. Like taking them somewhere that was unexpected. To me the surprise that awaited them at the end of the car ride was always the best…. Keeping it a surprise was hard.
I would make plans for my children and not tell them of those plans. I will make reservations online and print out the tickets. I will set time and money aside to go eat some place special. I will get all the plans in order before even uttering a word.
After all the plans are set in order I will tell them when the time is right to get prepared for we were fixing to leave. If this trip required any special clothing such as shoes or long pants I would make sure those instructions were given. Other than that no other information would be given.
I would tell them to get in the car…. When my oldest was little she would ask me questions. Where are we going? What are we doing? When will we be there? All these questions were good questions but not for her to know. She would have to trust that I knew the plans and that she would soon find out, but it would be a process. These plans were not for her to be concerned about.
As she has grown to know the process over time. She has learned that if she will follow the directions at the beginning of the trip and then sit quietly that reward will soon be before her. She has learned to get in, sit down, and buckle up… without questioning the plans. Even though she doesn’t see the plans or end results. She has learned to trust the process in me as her parent. For the plans I have made for her were not to harm her but to show her what was to come…….
Yes this is like the verse Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (NKJV)
Since my oldest daughter has learned how the process of trusting me when I say let’s go she has taught my youngest daughter that if she just follows the directions and sits quietly in the car then she would get the reward in the end without delay.
I say all of this because the Lord is taking my family through a time of follow the instructions, get in, buckle up, sit back, shut up, and enjoy the ride.
He wants us to trust in His plans that He has for us. Not to questions or try to fight the instructions of how it should happen. For He doesn’t always give us the plans for He wants to surprise us. For He is a Good Father and wants us to enjoy what is coming. The Lord knows the Plans He has for us. He wants us to just Trust in Him and not question the process but to enjoy the ride.
So even though I don’t know the plans that lie before me, my Daddy does. I am not to try to figure it all out. I am not to try to figure out where we are going, what we are doing, or how it is going to all fit together. I am to trust in my Daddy that He knows the Plans for me. One step at a time. He will give me instructions of what is needed for what lies ahead but the rest is not for me to know. He wants me to sit back and enjoy the ride while trusting Him.
ENJOY THE RIDE!!
When did we as a society lose all hope in a relationship that would be forever? I know that I am not perfect and I have a past that is something that I am not proud of but not ashamed of it either. Sometimes we have to go through things in order to understand what others go through. I just know that when it comes to relationships our generation thinks nothing of a relationship as in being committed to that one special person.
God created each and every one of us with desires to have a husband or wife. I believe that it is good for a man to leave his family and cling to his wife as they become one. It is good that a man find a wife.
Lately I have noticed more and more young and older ladies have given up on respect for who they are created to be. We as women are not created to be used by men for pleasure until they are done with us and want to move on to another female that pleasures them better. We are not to give ourselves away to words of promise but never commitment.
I see so many women and men playing house. I am not here to judge them. I too at one time played house more than once. I just now see how sad it is that our generation no longer cherishes themselves enough to wait for a man who is willing to make a life commitment.
I know that my life has not been perfect and I have gone down a path more than once that I now would not return to. I have learned my worth in who I am as a Daughter of God. I am no longer an orphan minded female looking to fit in where I don’t belong. For I have found where I belong and it is better than anything I could have imagined before.
The hurt will not stop, the loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, and just plan pretending to be whole won’t ever go away until we learn our worth.
Here in our society we see women of all ages starting very young and going to much older seeking wholeness, love, acceptance, joy, hope, and longing to belong some where. I know where that is…
When we know that God the Father loved us so much that He sent His One and Only Begotten Son to die on the cross for our hurts, sins, bondage, loneliness, and hopelessness. Once we understand and believe what a Good Good Father He is to us but sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for all of us to once again have hope and now be accepted as sons and daughters into the Kingdom of God. Going from Orphans to Royalty and Joint Heirs with Jesus. For He conquired it all for us once and for all. He rose again on the 3rd day.
We can now have hope in an expected end of Good and know that He is never going to leave us nor forsake us. He will forever be by our side and love us.
Now it seems like I have strayed from the meaning of this blog originally. But I haven’t lost the meaning at all. You see your worth as a person is not lost. Even if you feel like there is no hope of a new beginning there is. Let God through Jesus Christ become your Father and Jesus your big brother.
I know that being lonely is not the easiest feeling when as women we long to be connected to a family. Be connected to the Family of God. I know that if we wait and stay faithful that the Lord will bring the right man into your life at the right time.
Your Worth is Not Lost! Cherish Who You Are!
A Master Piece!
We as a family have been seeking Daddy for some answers in several different areas of our lives lately. One of those is where we would be moving too in the next 52 days. We were seeking His direction in the area of what to do. Such as, do we buy, rent, or did He have other plans for us.
Wednesday morning my husband was off work and my kids were still gone to their grandparents house so this gave us time to seek Daddy in the prayer room for answers. The first question we had for Him was what do we do when it comes to our house situation?
His answer to me was not what I expected.
He said, I will show you as you go out.
Trust in me.
Do you trust me?
Then walk forward I will show you. You have 3 homes to view today. View them…. I will give my answer after that.
After viewing the 3 homes the one we viewed 2nd was the one we liked the most. I informed the Realtor to start the negotiation process. For we have the first 600 needed to get the contract locked. But I told my daughter that if it was the house we were supposed to have that it would still be available when we got ready.
When we left we began to talk about this home and how it was what we wanted but deep down I was saddened. I don’t feel the desire to leave Ennis. I didn’t feel the release from my home town of the last 2 years yet. I know that without a doubt we have not been released from our home church.
As I began to think of the finances needed to purchase this home it would be more than what we have in our pockets. Which we were not fearing. I know that if it was where the Lord leads that He will make a way. Even if there seemed to be no way. I know that Daddy is teaching me to rely on His Kingdom system and not on the world system. Honestly that is one of the hardest things to do. To forget everything that I have ever been taught and to walk in Faith of a system that is Kingdom minded not earthly provided. For it is not in my own doing that these things are to be… I have for far to long relied on my own ability to provide and not my Daddy’s.
The scripture about counting the cost kept coming to my mind after we looked at this home. One it would cost us more than we had to get into it. Two the cost for a monthly payment would be 225 more a month than we wanted to pay. Then also if we were to purchase a home it would be something that we would be committing to 30 years of payments. We would in the end be paying 3 times what the purchase of the home would be in the first place.
For the last 6 months if not more the Lord keeps laying on my heart 4 to 5 years… That is all Daddy has been showing me. He has not told or shown me anything else but deep down I feel that we are grounded here for the next 4 to 5 years. This is why I don’t want to step our of His will for our lives and purchase a home that in the end is a cost that He doesn’t want us to have.
So Thursday Morning back to the prayer room we go, except this time it is the whole family in tow. Stormy soon after we started praying gave a word for us not to fear. I am sure she wanted to associate it with us buying the house. My husband prayed but soon left the prayer room. I for one could not get anything from Daddy during this time. So there I sat in the floor of the prayer room propped against the post just asking what to do….
Several things came to mind then. The same thought of counting the cost…. for this is a verse where it speaks of someone building a tower…. yes buying a home is a little different but still pertains to this scripture. To many people get into a home purchase that can not follow through the purchase due to the cost is too much. In return they lose their home. I for one do not want to step out and purchase a home unless Daddy tells me yes.
The second thing that came to mind is that again 4 to 5 years. I am not certain but again I feel this is telling me that we are temps in the area. Not to get settled for long-term. So why would we lock ourselves into a 30 year loan that we will become slaves too and not able to leave in 4 to 5 years. I know that if God tells us to buy a home then if He tells us to leave He will without a shadow of a doubt provide a way out. BUT if Daddy does not want us to but I for one do not want to have to ask Him to forgive us when it is time to leave in 4 to 5 years.
So this leaves rent option… We are to be out of our apartments in 51.5 days at this time. Where are we going to move to I have no idea…. but Daddy does. As I sit here writing this blog I am listening to the coffee shop owner teach the preteens about not being anxious for the thing of tomorrow. To trust that the Lord will provide the basic needs. Shelter, Food, Clothing for He does these things for the birds of the air and the flowers in the fields.
Then one of the girls was asked to give me a word of encouragement and then she prayed for us. She did an awesome job. I know that Daddy is working it out for us. He knows our need and where He wants us. He knows exactly what it will work best for our needs in every way. For we are a family of 4. We are faithful in our ways to God and He in return is faithful to us in every way. For He is a Good Good Father to us.
I am excited to see what He has in store for us. I am going to raise my expectations and trust in Him. I feel that the Lord is preparing our shelter for us. It might not be available yet but His timing is perfect.
I am sorry for not doing a blog daily like I had been. I am going to try to start doing them again daily. The things we have been through in the last month and what we are still going through is a testament to the Lord.
He will see us through it all, we will say Hallelujah any how and keep on going.
What the enemy has for evil will be turned around for good. For it is by faith that our family choices to walk it out. We choose not to give up but to stay focused and seek Him in all we do. God will never leave us nor forsake us. He will see us to the next level.
For I know the plans I have for you Declares the Lord. He knows His plans for us and now we have to seek Him out in those plans. One day at a time.
The other day during my time with God he took me through the whole chapter 6 in Matthew. Here is where He showed me that He knows everything that I am in need of. He also shows me how to pray and what I should be focused on and what not to worry about because He already has it all taken care of. I am supposed to walk out my next season if not the rest of my entire life by this Chapter in the scriptures.
Wow, can you believe it is already the end of May this year? Where has the time gone?
The Lord is stirring us up His people. We have had a busy week over the last few days. But the Lord is good to us as His children.
My husband started a new job this weekend, but he was able to work his old job up until the new one started. We also found out that his new job paid him for his orientation he did last week which was a blessing.
He works different hours at his new job yes, but it is not hard labor like his last job. He likes it. Best of all it is a christian company that will not be working on Sundays once they open. 🙂 A Blessing alone in that.
Sunday I was going to pay my daughter’s camp fees in full because I had it at the time. When I went into the church I spoke with the youth pastor about paying it in full but would need change for a $100. Her camp was $80. He said that he was not sure he could find $20 change but if he could not that I could pay it Wednesday night.
When church was over I was heading to the car. I then remembered that I was going to ask the youth Pastor that we wanted to see if it was alright if I paid the $80 through the RF app on my phone and just make it Stormy’s Camp.
To my shocked he replied, “Um No.” I think my jaw dropped at that moment…. I looked at him with a very puzzled face. He then replied, “It has been paid in Full” I was like really???
God is so good and cares so much for His children even when we least expect these blessings He lavishly pours them out on us.
The girls have less than 2 weeks before they are officially out of school. Then the Summer begins 🙂
Please lift my dearest friend and her team up as they prepare to make a 3 week trip to Malawi, Africa for the 2016 missions. They have lots to do for the kingdom and I am excited to see what comes of it. Healings, Deliverance, and Other Signs and Wonders of the Holy Spirit touching lives and changing them.
Excited to see what else the Lord has in store for us as His children seeking Him. We are moving at the end of July. We are praying and trusting God for His direction of where we should go. Open doors where we are to go and closed doors of where we are to stay away from.
It has been at least a week since I have written anything on this blog. Forgive me for not writing more often. Been a very busy and revealing last week.
We are going through things that is not uncommon to any married couple or family with children. We had honestly gotten our lives so busy that we had forgotten to put God first before any of those decisions. We always had God but seeking Him first was not always the way we did things.
As I sit at the coffee shop this morning in my study and fellowship with the owner God began to reveal things to me.
Let me back up, my day started out rough kinda. My husband didn’t get any sleep again last night so he tossed and turned all night. Which in turn keep me up throughout the night. His work alarm went off at 5:20am. Then my alarm to get the girls up and off to school went off at 6:30am. After they were dropped off today I headed to the coffee shop. A place where I say is my saving grace lately. I have been meeting God there. Some people have prayer closets. I personally like to spend my time in the Lord at the coffee shop.
As I headed that way, I received a text from my husband. M222…. I think I am going to lose my job. Usually I would began to nag and panic over this. Instead I prayed that God would be with my husband and that he would show us what to do. As I began to pray for my husband I remembered that last week he actually was sent home early due to not feeling well. That gave him the opportunity to have orientation for another job he had applied too. He was given that job but the store does not open for another 2 weeks. This was brought to my memory as I prayed for him. God has already given him another job if he loses this one. God has us in His hands and will never leave us nor forsake us. His ways are higher than our ways. Sometimes in order to get out of where we are He will let us be squeezed to get us uncomfortable and to have us step in a direction we might not have done otherwise.
As I was in the House of Prayer this morning I didn’t have this aw moment of God speaking to me like He has before. Some times that speaking comes through His word instead. Which we get only when we open and study His word. I began studying James yesterday, not getting far into the first chapter due to being it is a living word, digesting it takes longer to chew at times.
I began to speak to the owner of the coffee shop when I came out of the House of Prayer this morning. She asked me how my time with God was. I told her good, still waiting on His word though. But that He would and does speak also through the word.
As I return to my study of James I came across the verse where it is talking about asking in Faith and then making sure that we don’t doubt what we have asked for. For if we start to waver in our faith then we are like double minded.
When I was looking at this verse, I began to think about what it means to be double minded.
If I ask for something but don’t believe that I will receive it then why even ask for it? You see we ask with doubt and not the confidence that it will be given to us. Why do we do this? Why do we have a hard time believing that what we ask for He will give to us? One of the reasons is because in our earthly relationships we so often are disappointed. We are taught to depend on no one else except for ourselves.
So when we ask our Daddy for things and it is not done immediately we start to waver and doubt, thinking that we have to do it in our own abilities. We have to do it for ourselves because we don’t want to be disappointed.
We have to learn to trust and have faith in our Daddy for the things we ask for.
The owner began to tell me about a movie…..
There was a woman and Jesus was behind her. He told her to fall backwards and He would catch her. The woman was hesitant at first but soon gave in and fell back. He caught her. With the excitement of Him catching her she got back up and began to fall back again…. but this time without Jesus asking her to fall. She then fell…. You see she had thrown herself the second time on her own accord and not when asked to take that step of faith in Jesus. As time went one Jesus stood in front of her and said now that you have learned to trust me… fall back….. the woman was like no… looking behind her and seeing no one she walked away…. Jesus had once again asked her to fall back…. but she wavered in her faith and walked away.
This short conversation really went deep with me today. If we take that Leap of Faith and jump or fall back when He tells us to fall then He will be there to catch us. If we step out on our own accord without His leading we at times will fall without being caught. I will tell you that He is faithful to help us back up but we are to wait on His leading.
We need to make sure that we are waiting on His leading and not getting excited in our call or purpose and jumping ahead of His leading.
For me this is one of the hardest challenges that I face. I know my calling and purpose but waiting on the right timing is hard. I have to remember that I should trust in His leading and not to fall into the trap of being double minded in the wait but to let my faith to worketh patience. For through the work of patience we become made perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
This morning was a true blessing. Last night I became aware that my town had a house of prayer that was open. A house of prayer is a place where one can go and seek God in prayer during the hours the house is open.
After I dropped off the girls this morning at their schools I headed to the Local Coffee shop that gives to international mission. I have a heart for missions so it gives me joy to purchase a cup of coffee and be able to sit at the coffee shop and study my word.
My heart has been longing for a place to seek His Word and Starbucks was not the best choice. As I sat in this coffee shop this morning I could feel the spirit of the Lord there. I was watching the video that was playing I asked the lady that was in charge about it. She informed me that the video was of some missionaries who were in India and they were going around placing lights in different areas of the community.
I began to talk with this lady and shared my heart for what I felt God had called me too. As I had shared some of our struggles the woman sat down at the table with me and asked if she could pray for me. I said sure. As tears ran down my face this woman lovingly took time to pray for my needs and life. She didn’t know me and didn’t have to do that but it touched me that she reached out.
Right after she prayed for me I looked at my phone and saw that my husband had left a message that he had gotten once again sent home from his job due to physically not being able to do it.
I finished my coffee and then went into the prayer room for the first time. The woman turned the worship music on and then left me to be alone with God. Wow, that place was just what I needed at that exact time in my life. I entered into the presence of my Lord and just cried before Him. I told Him what I needed and then thanked Him and praised Him.
I was there at least another hour.
When I finally began to wrap up my time with Daddy I thanked the lady and walked out with the words I would be back. 🙂
My spirit was lifted but I knew I would still have to go home and face my husband that was sent home from a job that we needed him to be at to earn money for us.
As I got to my car I felt the Lord lay on my heart to go into the Flower shop next to the prayer room and get my husband something to show that I loved him and to encourage him. I was not to go home and hound or speak negative of him coming home. That is hard for me because I really want him to understand the importance it is for him to work to provide for us especially since I don’t have a job right now. Instead I was to get a gift for my husband to encourage him.
So I went into the flower shop…. there was not much in there but 2 women and a counter where one lady was putting a flower arrangement together. I boldly told the woman when she asked me how she could help me that I felt the Lord tell me that I needed to go in the flower shop and get my husband something. She said that she had some crosses. So I went to look at them, but that is not what I felt like I needed to get him. So I asked her what color roses did she have. She name 4 different colors. But one stood out Coral. 🙂 He was sent home from his job (Koral) but God had me get him a Coral rose. Then I got him a balloon too with a big smilie face on it as well. I wrote on the note the I loved him and that the Joy of the Lord is our Strength.
When I paid the lady without saying a word she instantly said, “Let me pray for you!” I honestly can say my Lord encouraged me today through 2 strangers just with a simple prayer. I was able to give my husband the encouragement he needed as well and I have tried very hard to not tear him down today but to build him up.
We were together able to get some clothes done and dishes. Cleaned the house up and now we should be able to spend time as a family this weekend enjoying what God has Blessed us with as our personal mission field right now.