January 31, 2018 Black & White Photo

 

But the Greatest of These is LOVE!!!26829567_10211197807049693_1306465853_o

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To Believe or Not to Believe

I have to go back a few month to start this blog. My oldest daughter has been having some physical issues with her stomach. In the last week and a half it had started to get worse.

Last Thursday after I got off work I called her just to see what she was doing. It was another typical school day and I was just checking on how her and Chloe’s day went. Within 5 minutes my daughter told me that she has been in severe pain and that it felt like her insides were being ripped out of her side. This was at 5:05pm. So I instantly got off the phone and called the doctor and asked to speak with someone about it. I left our information for the On Call doctor that was there till 6:30pm. By 6:00pm I was on the phone with the nurse hotline with CHIP. The nurse assessed Stormy and advised us to get to an ER to be seen within the next hour due to her pain level being an 8.

So off to the ER we went. Waiting in the ER I posted for prayers. (Thank you all for those prayers by the way). Two hours go by and we are still waiting in the waiting room with Stormy having bought of pain come and go. She is crying now. I am frustrated because of the over flow of flu patients in the ER it is taking hours to be seen.

I tell my husband to go ask them how much long it is going to take. Finally we get called to the back, just in time to wait another hour. They come in and do blood test and then order an ultra sound.

Finally we can get some answers… Or so I thought.

They come to roll her back to the Ultrasound room. She asked me to go with her. I sit in the chair watching for over an hour them look at all her organs. The first ultra sound tech was in training, put a ? mark by a picture she took of Stormy’s gallbladder. Then after she went and got the training ultra sound tech that also stayed on the gallbladder the whole time.

After an hour in the ultrasound room we were taken back to the room. Within 10 minutes the doctor came in and said that everything looked good but her gallbladder was tender. That we would need to follow up with her personal doctor and get a GI referral. They prescribed some pain meds and sent us on our way. So 5 hours later we get to leave the ER.

The next morning I get my daughter into the doctor. The ER sent all but the Gallbladder photos of the ultrasound. The doctor had told my daughter that it looked like they would have to wait till Monday and get CT scan done.

All weekend I watch my daughter in pain suffer with upset stomach and pain.

Attending church I asked for prayer for Stormy. I began to asked for a New Gallbladder and for the Pain to leave.

Come Monday Stormy went to the doctor and got a CT scan. By the end of the day we were informed that her gallbladder was good. That she was going to give her some meds to help heal her stomach from all the acid it had that was possibly causing the pain and upsetting of her bowels.

I still felt like a mother they haven’t found what is wrong with her. She has been in pain. I have watched my baby cry real tears and ball over in the floor with pain. I felt like they weren’t doing enough.

When I got home I found out that my daughter had been in the bathroom all afternoon with upset stomach. When we got home around 8pm she told me that there was also blood in her bowel and when she threw up. I instantly called the doctor’s office to once again give my information and told to expect a call back. After 45 minutes and no call  back I call my dad. He called my aunt and got some info on what to do next.

I called her doctor back today and asked several questions to get absolutely no where with no answers to any of my questions. I was told to just take her to the ER. This is coming from my daughter’s PCP. The doctor that is supposed to be who I go to. After much frustration the Lord began to speak to me when I hung up the phone. (And I was very frustrated for the last words I told the nurse was that we would be looking for a new doctor)

Today the Lord really convicted me of my beliefs. He told me that I can’t have it both ways. I either have to believe or not believe.

You see I had professed over my daughter for her to have a New Gallbladder.  But you see when He did exactly what I had spoken over my child and asked the Holy Spirit do a work in her body. He did.

I was not being thankful for the work that He had began in my daughter with her healing. Instead I was busy blaming the doctors for not giving me a reason why she was still in pain.

He basically told me that I needed to either completely believe or not to. I am so thankful for Grace that He gives even when we doubt. I have to learn to believe whole heartedly in His Word and Truth… I can’t believe then doubt in the next thought.

I made up my mind and decided that I am ready to trust, believe, and stand on the Truth and nothing but the Truth so Help me GOD! 🙂

P.S.
Stormy has not had any pain meds since early this morning. She has barely had any stomach issues. I believe for her full complete restoration and healing in her body. I don’t believe she will have to be on a special diet or medications. I believe she will possess the complete divine health in her body.

So Remember it is Easy to do, but you have to make the decision to Believe or Not to Believe.

Blessings

Leap Generation

The Struggle is REAL!

What do you do when God has told you several things but everything you look at in the physical is just going to pieces. I am not gonna lie… I cry, question if it was really God, and then wonder what (I) can do to fix it. I don’t like not having any money.. I don’t like my kids saying they are hungry and all we have is what they have been eating for the last 2 weeks straight because it is the cheapest things we can afford.

When God tells you no more loans… what do you do when you have no money and need to put food in your house? Do you use the credit card and pray that doesn’t go against what He said? Do you continue to allow your family to provide the food even though it is not their job?

We took a huge leap of faith.. this year… But I question how strong is my actual faith when the finances get so low we don’t even have enough for 1 tank of gas.

I prayed for years for God to show me what my oil was… By this I mean what am I talented in that could in turn provide for our family. This year He showed me on the way to work one morning. I then began to research and see what I needed to get that going. I prayed and sought after God to see what to do next.

Right before I quit my job to go full-time Business Owner, God told me no matter what it looks like. Well I trusted Him… or did I?

I continued to pray and then He gave me the direct clear, The Time is Now!

So I put my notice in and quit my job. We were in Business and $8000.00 in debt by this time. The same week I quit my job my husband gets hurt at work. He is then out of his job without pay for a whole week. A Whole WEEK! At this time I am at a small panic.. His job was and is what our bills will be paid with. I can only hear God telling me … No matter what it looks like…. Okay, deep breath….. No matter what it looks like….

We survive that week. My husband returns to work. Placed in a different area he works hard to be the best he can be,… super proud of him by the way…

Now we have been at our business for a little over 3 to 4 weeks. We have only made $140 so far. That is not profit. That is just what we have been able to sell. I struggle to understand what it is we are doing wrong… Our prices are lower than most others and we do the best we can when asked we get our stuff out there as soon as we can. I don’t want to sell worldly things so I have a limited amount of product.

We also decided to home school our children this year due to the public school systems pushing to many things on our children that does not line up with truths or the word of God. I do not want my children to have ungodly beliefs forced upon them. Which is happening more and more every day. I want to be able to teach them truths that are biblical and not be judged for their stand in faith.

The struggle of faith is so real. Do we have what it takes to get through the times of nothing? Can we call upon the name of the Lord and expect Him to do what His word says He will do? Why when you do everything right do we struggle more than normal? Why do we not see the harvest? Why is it so easy to forget that He brings us through when we struggle to get through the next day?

I don’t want to put my kids back in public school… I don’t want to have to go back to a secular job… I don’t want to have to sell what we have to just get by… This is not the promises… This is not what my Word of God says… Why do I struggle to see it come to manifestation? These battles are not for the faint of heart. They are for strong men and women to endure… Am I strong enough?

This blog today is just a reflection on the thoughts we go through as we struggle to have the faith God has measured out to us. I was born for more than this… I was called to more than this… What am I missing in the mist of this trial? Why am I failing this?

I give, for I was born to be a giver.. I am still waiting on the harvest of my seeds. I know that the word says to give and it shall be given unto you. pressed down and shaken together and running over… shall man give unto my bosom.. Where is this? I have been giving for years… Do I have wrong motives? When my life gets to a breaking point is that not the time I am supposed to say okay God… Your word says… Then expect the answer…

I will Seek the Kingdom, and know that you are God! I will wait even when it looks as everything is falling apart. I will kneel knowing that God is still God and He is bigger than anything I face.

Folks the Struggle is Real! Do I question my faith? Yes I do! Do I question my salvation? NO…. I question my ability to stand knowing that God is God and His word will never change….

I question my actual faith? Is it big enough to see…. I am waiting for the growth of my faith to even the size of a mustard seed. With that I can move mountains. 🙂

 

Journey thus Far

After a bout of uncertainty over the first part of the year, life has taken a turn for the better in many ways in the latter.

My wife and I enrolled into Integrity Bible Seminary: she is going for her masters in missions, and I’m working on my associates in theology. By the time we have completed our education we will not have our doctorates: this will help us in our ventures into the ministry field, which is something we desire to be able to do full time.

Four months ago we started our own business, Leap Generation LLC. It has been slow, we think we could have taken a better approach with it. We currently are in the process of revamping the business. We started it with the main purpose of it being a way for us to support being full time missionaries. We don’t believe where we started is wrong, but it would make it more difficult to do while overseas.

One of the things Daddy (God) has began taking us through a period of preparation of training, not in just one area of life but in all aspects of it.

He told us to sell our TVs that they were to much a distraction, to put away ‘childish things’. The training will cover everything from what we eat, drink, do, think, say and much more.

Another part of the process has been to start learning Spanish, which has been fun and interesting to say the least. We picked up two complete (OT & NT) Spanish Bibles: this being the case because of where we feel the Father leading us to go; which are Central and South American regions.

Downsizing: getting less materialistic items for the sake of just getting them, or even to fulfill desires isn’t important to us any longer. Now we weigh things in the scales of calling and Divine purpose. Does what we desire to attain furthering the Kingdom and the Gospel thereof? This is the wisdom that drives us in what we don’t and do acquire in life.

Another one of the things Daddy has really laid strongly on my heart to do is to really buckle down and write a book. This is something I had dabble with in the past but put off doing, then when I picked it back up, Yahveh stopped me from completing it.

I fully believe it wasn’t it wasn’t the right time, nor the right focus on what He wanted it to deal with. But now He has laid it heavily upon my heart to revisit and finish writing this book.

We are both very excited to see where the next three years open up, to where Daddy leads us for His Kingdom!

Leap Of Faith! Just Jump!

We have had a huge amount of activity going on in our home the last few weeks and God has and is still opening doors and opportunities for my family.

I have prayed for years to God for Him to show me what my oil in my house was. I have longed to know what that was. Finally a few weeks ago He revealed to me on my way to work my oil. He now has given prophetic dreams to Dan and showing me things and speaking to me about our situation over the last few weeks.

This Morning He revealed to me that, “The Time is NOW!” I am excited… We have been given a business opportunity that He has directed us to Take our Leap of Faith in.

Just Have Faith! Leap He says Fully Relying on God!

He has revealed to me that in my questioning and seeking His direction an answer that I know He gave. Last week the Lord answered me with a question… What is your desire? My desire has been to own my own company and to be able to make more than enough to support a full-time mission field life style along with giving the money away to those in need. I know that I have been called to the Mission Field since I was 16 years old. I long for the day where I can serve Him in the mission field full time.

Over the years I wondered why He has taken me through so many jobs in so many different areas of job titles. Management, Trainer, Team Lead, Customer Service, Computer IT, Card Services, Tech Support, Accounting, Call Center, Retail, Inventory, Marketing, and many other jobs in the process of life.

At this time I feel that God has taken me down this path for 1 ultimate purpose. That is to be able to handle all the areas of a business. This is my desire.

Another desire that I have had for about that long was to home-school my children. The last few years they also have longed to be home-schooled. This year the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to be able to home-school both my children.

So in the next 3 weeks, I will be completing one journey to start 2 new ones. I will start blogging again. Come follow us on this New Season and Journey God has began to reveal to us.

 

365 Days of Testimony: Day 25

Yesterday I was early to my hair appointment. I had an hour and a half to wait on the hair place to open up. I was about to get out of my car and go to the coffee shop when my phone rang…

It was a dear friend of mine that I have not heard from in months. I had just saw her post on Face Book and she was having issues physically in her body. I just finished praying over her situation before she called me.

She informed me that she had been having issues with her back/neck and thought that she just needed an adjustment form the chiropractor. She made an appointment and then went but the next day her situation was worse. After 2 to 3 days of this the chiropractor decided that she needed an MRI. After the MRI she was told that her neck was in critical condition. He was going to refer her to a specialist.

So we were talking about it and how she is going to need to be seen soon. I told her that God has here and that she was going to be okay.

I again prayed for her and spoke over her situation.

About an hour and a half later she messaged me. She was able to get in to the specialist today at 1:30 pm. It normally takes a new patient 6 to 8 weeks to be scheduled with this specialist.

Then she called me later and told me that her husband has been trying to sell his motorcycle for months and has not been able to sell it. They even put it on someone’s lot to try to get it to sale. Still nothing. Well yesterday her husband was able to sell that motorcycle for $7000.00, a blessing in the time of need.

Today after her appointment the set her up to have an injection that should relieve the pain. If it is not better, they will then schedule her for surgery.

The testimony here in this situation is not that she is completely healed but that God the Father is at work in her life lining up her every need. God has her.

365 Days of Testimony: Day 23

Expectancy

You know that thing you do when you are expecting something from some one, or expecting something to change. When you have something that you have been waiting on to happen and the closer it gets the more excited you become. You start to have a feeling deep inside that at times is hard to conceal the excitement for. Some times it makes you want to almost burst with excitement.

With God it is that way. He has things we could not even imagine for us that is beyond what we could ever think. When we come to understand this then we can get excited for what is to come. For God’s promises are to bless us and be more than we could expect. When we have a birthday party, we expect they guest to each bring a gift for the birthday boy/girl. When it is time to sit down and open these presents the expectancy is that everyone brought a gift. We already know that these gifts are for the birthday person and only them. So the birthday person then is excited to see what was brought to them as gifts. The birthday person is expecting good things. With out that expectancy it would not be as exciting to even attend a birthday party. Everyone wants to see what the birthday person received from everyone.

God’s word is full of gifts, blessings, promises, and favor.. so much more as well..  When we start to view His word as something like gifts at a birthday party then we can get excited. We will start to look for these things as each day comes. (Testimonies) As guest arrive at a birthday party one of the first things a child will do is see if they have a gift in their hands. Then they will look to see if it is big, small, medium, long, short, round… The birthday child will begin to wonder what is to come in the near future. They look to see when they will obtain these gifts.

We as children of God should look at our daily lives this way.. Each morning waking up and getting excited for what is to come though the day. What Blessing does Daddy have for me today? What gift is there before me? What an awesome favor of God I have on my life? Do you see how good my Daddy was to me?

These are the testimonies that this challenge is all about. I am doing this also to share what God is doing for me in my life as well. By our Testimonies our Faith grows. What are the gifts Daddy is giving to you? Are you expecting them? Are you excited?

365 Days of Testimony: Day 22

I have now made a new habit. This would be the 2nd new habit I have created in the last 60 days. I have been with out soda for over 40 days now. I have written my blog (challenge for 22 days in a row) so that is 2 new habits. I have only done one thing like for 21 days in a row in the past. I am grateful for God has given me the the desire to complete what I start. We are to finish the race that we start. We are to run it well.

I have other things I am working on as well but won’t share at this time. 🙂 God has blessed me with new dreams and desires that I have never had before. A few weeks ago we had a visiting Prophet come and speak at our church that we attend. After that service I went and spent time with my best friend Julann. I told her how the Holy Spirit was so strong on me and wouldn’t leave. That feeling lasted for hours. That day the Lord began to show me visions of the future ministry I would be involved in. I am excited to see where we are to go in the near future.

One of the things that was spoken was 2017, the limitations would be removed. I fully believe one of the limitations that we have in our family that has held us back has to do with my youngest daughter. We are trusting that the Lord will break the limitation on her by the end of the year. We are going to get full custody of Chloe. We believe this and we believe it will be complete by the end of the year.

This is where faith and trust comes in. I trust that the Lord is going to do what He said He would do. I now have a new excitement and enjoy doing things for ministry.

I also look at my job another way now. It is a place where those who work and live there alike need to be encouraged, appreciated, and uplifted in many ways. I choose to take the light that others see. I want to let God’s light and love for all of them shine bright. A simple smile and upbeat hello in the morning. Saying a simple I think you are doing an awesome job and that you appreciate what they do. Sending a simple email to encourage someone or prayer if asked.

I have seen differences and love doing what I do. God has me right where He wants me. Training grounds are awesome, it shows us how to do what He has called us to do. One step, day, week at a time.

365 Days of Testimony: Day 21

God gave us a beautiful day today after a week of rain and flooding. 

Don’t forget the reason we celebrate this weekend is because God loved us so much that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believes in He shall not perish but have Everlasting Life.

Spend time with family and friends and share why we celebrate Christ who arose on the 3rd day. He is coming back for those who believe in Him.

Happy Easter! He is Risen!

365 Days of Testimony: Day 17

What a day this has been. Starting early this morning was storms throughout the night. The thunder keep me up most of the night. The blessing that came of that is, I was able to talk to my best friend who is across the world right now in Malawi, Africa serving God. I told her that God spoke and wanted me to be up so I could talk to her. 🙂 His voice is like the thunder.

When I got up and out the door, it was raining, not hard but steady. I dropped the girls off and headed to work. HWY 31 was good. When I turned on the road that leads to my work, it was more of a country road but not gravel. It was still paved. I began to notice that the ditches along this road were full. It was still raining at this time. The lighting was everywhere as well. The further down the road I went the more flooded it became. I thankfully was being good and did not have my phone at this time in my hand. I was watching the sides of the road closely. The water was dirty looking and easy to see. Suddenly I hit water. My Durango jerked to the left all the way in the other lane. I was able to get control of it and get out of the water that was across the road that I did not see. I thanked God instantly and then continued on with my hands at 10 and 2. I don’t think I have ever been so concerned about ending up in a ditch before. As I rounded the corner to work, the road is a curved road and it too was flooded big time. The water was rushing over the road. I paused at first before entering it. I could see this flooding on the road and it concerned me. I was at work basically but didn’t want to get into trouble by crossing the running water. To my knowledge that was the only way into work. I prayed then proceeded slowly to cross the river of running water at this time. God saw me through it.

By the time I has parked and was ready to get out of my vehicle that rain had stopped for the moment I needed to walk outside. 🙂

Once I was on my home I went about my day as usual. I like to tell everyone, “Good Morning” and greet them with a warm smile as much as possible.  This morning I was speaking to one of my JCO’s and telling her about my drive to work… Out of the blue she looked at me and asked me if I prayed… Since I was speaking about my drive to work, I said of course I did… I had misunderstood her. She was asking me if I am a praying person… So she asked me again… Will you pray for me? (In total shock to hear a co-worker come out and ask for prayer from me at this time.) I of course jumped right in and said sure, what do you need prayer for. She said direction.. So we bowed our heads and prayed for direction… It was not an elaborate prayer but I know that the Spirit was moving in that office, I could feel it.  I was thankful that God used me to be a light for this JCO.

Later today I was talking to some of the youth in the hallway. I won’t mention names due to privacy and I don’t want to violate my work policies. We have a lot of changes going on in our work and many workers and youth are being moved around to different homes. I was told yesterday that more than likely that I would be moved off my home. It saddened me but did not steal my joy or discouraged me. I just didn’t know who I would be under as in my supervisor due to my supervisor is to stay on the home we are on now. Anyway the some of the youth that are waiting to move as well were the ones in the hallway. I was talking to them about how we were unsure of when this move was going to take place but that it would been soon. I then was talking how I was going to be moved as well. Then they asked what about (my supervisor) was he going to be moving? I told them not that he was going to stay, unless a miracle of God happened. Then I said there is no miracle to big for God. So that ended our conversation on that.

I went into my office an proceed throughout my work day. I was getting ready to go to lunch when my supervisor came into my office to get some papers off the printer. He said that he had good news. I was like Uh Oh! What now! He said that he thought about it and had decided that he was going to move with me. I asked him if he was for real. He said yes.. then instantly my thoughts go to what I had told the youth in the hallway. Only a miracle would be able to move him. I went to find the youth I had spoke that too. When I found them I asked them what would it take for my supervisor to move to the home I was going to? He said a miracle.. I told him he was right and that God gave me that miracle. I was so happy inside… For I know God has me in this situation at work. Everything will work out according to His purpose. God is Good.