To Believe or Not to Believe

I have to go back a few month to start this blog. My oldest daughter has been having some physical issues with her stomach. In the last week and a half it had started to get worse.

Last Thursday after I got off work I called her just to see what she was doing. It was another typical school day and I was just checking on how her and Chloe’s day went. Within 5 minutes my daughter told me that she has been in severe pain and that it felt like her insides were being ripped out of her side. This was at 5:05pm. So I instantly got off the phone and called the doctor and asked to speak with someone about it. I left our information for the On Call doctor that was there till 6:30pm. By 6:00pm I was on the phone with the nurse hotline with CHIP. The nurse assessed Stormy and advised us to get to an ER to be seen within the next hour due to her pain level being an 8.

So off to the ER we went. Waiting in the ER I posted for prayers. (Thank you all for those prayers by the way). Two hours go by and we are still waiting in the waiting room with Stormy having bought of pain come and go. She is crying now. I am frustrated because of the over flow of flu patients in the ER it is taking hours to be seen.

I tell my husband to go ask them how much long it is going to take. Finally we get called to the back, just in time to wait another hour. They come in and do blood test and then order an ultra sound.

Finally we can get some answers… Or so I thought.

They come to roll her back to the Ultrasound room. She asked me to go with her. I sit in the chair watching for over an hour them look at all her organs. The first ultra sound tech was in training, put a ? mark by a picture she took of Stormy’s gallbladder. Then after she went and got the training ultra sound tech that also stayed on the gallbladder the whole time.

After an hour in the ultrasound room we were taken back to the room. Within 10 minutes the doctor came in and said that everything looked good but her gallbladder was tender. That we would need to follow up with her personal doctor and get a GI referral. They prescribed some pain meds and sent us on our way. So 5 hours later we get to leave the ER.

The next morning I get my daughter into the doctor. The ER sent all but the Gallbladder photos of the ultrasound. The doctor had told my daughter that it looked like they would have to wait till Monday and get CT scan done.

All weekend I watch my daughter in pain suffer with upset stomach and pain.

Attending church I asked for prayer for Stormy. I began to asked for a New Gallbladder and for the Pain to leave.

Come Monday Stormy went to the doctor and got a CT scan. By the end of the day we were informed that her gallbladder was good. That she was going to give her some meds to help heal her stomach from all the acid it had that was possibly causing the pain and upsetting of her bowels.

I still felt like a mother they haven’t found what is wrong with her. She has been in pain. I have watched my baby cry real tears and ball over in the floor with pain. I felt like they weren’t doing enough.

When I got home I found out that my daughter had been in the bathroom all afternoon with upset stomach. When we got home around 8pm she told me that there was also blood in her bowel and when she threw up. I instantly called the doctor’s office to once again give my information and told to expect a call back. After 45 minutes and no call  back I call my dad. He called my aunt and got some info on what to do next.

I called her doctor back today and asked several questions to get absolutely no where with no answers to any of my questions. I was told to just take her to the ER. This is coming from my daughter’s PCP. The doctor that is supposed to be who I go to. After much frustration the Lord began to speak to me when I hung up the phone. (And I was very frustrated for the last words I told the nurse was that we would be looking for a new doctor)

Today the Lord really convicted me of my beliefs. He told me that I can’t have it both ways. I either have to believe or not believe.

You see I had professed over my daughter for her to have a New Gallbladder.  But you see when He did exactly what I had spoken over my child and asked the Holy Spirit do a work in her body. He did.

I was not being thankful for the work that He had began in my daughter with her healing. Instead I was busy blaming the doctors for not giving me a reason why she was still in pain.

He basically told me that I needed to either completely believe or not to. I am so thankful for Grace that He gives even when we doubt. I have to learn to believe whole heartedly in His Word and Truth… I can’t believe then doubt in the next thought.

I made up my mind and decided that I am ready to trust, believe, and stand on the Truth and nothing but the Truth so Help me GOD! 🙂

P.S.
Stormy has not had any pain meds since early this morning. She has barely had any stomach issues. I believe for her full complete restoration and healing in her body. I don’t believe she will have to be on a special diet or medications. I believe she will possess the complete divine health in her body.

So Remember it is Easy to do, but you have to make the decision to Believe or Not to Believe.

Blessings

Leap Generation

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The Struggle is REAL!

What do you do when God has told you several things but everything you look at in the physical is just going to pieces. I am not gonna lie… I cry, question if it was really God, and then wonder what (I) can do to fix it. I don’t like not having any money.. I don’t like my kids saying they are hungry and all we have is what they have been eating for the last 2 weeks straight because it is the cheapest things we can afford.

When God tells you no more loans… what do you do when you have no money and need to put food in your house? Do you use the credit card and pray that doesn’t go against what He said? Do you continue to allow your family to provide the food even though it is not their job?

We took a huge leap of faith.. this year… But I question how strong is my actual faith when the finances get so low we don’t even have enough for 1 tank of gas.

I prayed for years for God to show me what my oil was… By this I mean what am I talented in that could in turn provide for our family. This year He showed me on the way to work one morning. I then began to research and see what I needed to get that going. I prayed and sought after God to see what to do next.

Right before I quit my job to go full-time Business Owner, God told me no matter what it looks like. Well I trusted Him… or did I?

I continued to pray and then He gave me the direct clear, The Time is Now!

So I put my notice in and quit my job. We were in Business and $8000.00 in debt by this time. The same week I quit my job my husband gets hurt at work. He is then out of his job without pay for a whole week. A Whole WEEK! At this time I am at a small panic.. His job was and is what our bills will be paid with. I can only hear God telling me … No matter what it looks like…. Okay, deep breath….. No matter what it looks like….

We survive that week. My husband returns to work. Placed in a different area he works hard to be the best he can be,… super proud of him by the way…

Now we have been at our business for a little over 3 to 4 weeks. We have only made $140 so far. That is not profit. That is just what we have been able to sell. I struggle to understand what it is we are doing wrong… Our prices are lower than most others and we do the best we can when asked we get our stuff out there as soon as we can. I don’t want to sell worldly things so I have a limited amount of product.

We also decided to home school our children this year due to the public school systems pushing to many things on our children that does not line up with truths or the word of God. I do not want my children to have ungodly beliefs forced upon them. Which is happening more and more every day. I want to be able to teach them truths that are biblical and not be judged for their stand in faith.

The struggle of faith is so real. Do we have what it takes to get through the times of nothing? Can we call upon the name of the Lord and expect Him to do what His word says He will do? Why when you do everything right do we struggle more than normal? Why do we not see the harvest? Why is it so easy to forget that He brings us through when we struggle to get through the next day?

I don’t want to put my kids back in public school… I don’t want to have to go back to a secular job… I don’t want to have to sell what we have to just get by… This is not the promises… This is not what my Word of God says… Why do I struggle to see it come to manifestation? These battles are not for the faint of heart. They are for strong men and women to endure… Am I strong enough?

This blog today is just a reflection on the thoughts we go through as we struggle to have the faith God has measured out to us. I was born for more than this… I was called to more than this… What am I missing in the mist of this trial? Why am I failing this?

I give, for I was born to be a giver.. I am still waiting on the harvest of my seeds. I know that the word says to give and it shall be given unto you. pressed down and shaken together and running over… shall man give unto my bosom.. Where is this? I have been giving for years… Do I have wrong motives? When my life gets to a breaking point is that not the time I am supposed to say okay God… Your word says… Then expect the answer…

I will Seek the Kingdom, and know that you are God! I will wait even when it looks as everything is falling apart. I will kneel knowing that God is still God and He is bigger than anything I face.

Folks the Struggle is Real! Do I question my faith? Yes I do! Do I question my salvation? NO…. I question my ability to stand knowing that God is God and His word will never change….

I question my actual faith? Is it big enough to see…. I am waiting for the growth of my faith to even the size of a mustard seed. With that I can move mountains. 🙂

 

Journey thus Far

After a bout of uncertainty over the first part of the year, life has taken a turn for the better in many ways in the latter.

My wife and I enrolled into Integrity Bible Seminary: she is going for her masters in missions, and I’m working on my associates in theology. By the time we have completed our education we will not have our doctorates: this will help us in our ventures into the ministry field, which is something we desire to be able to do full time.

Four months ago we started our own business, Leap Generation LLC. It has been slow, we think we could have taken a better approach with it. We currently are in the process of revamping the business. We started it with the main purpose of it being a way for us to support being full time missionaries. We don’t believe where we started is wrong, but it would make it more difficult to do while overseas.

One of the things Daddy (God) has began taking us through a period of preparation of training, not in just one area of life but in all aspects of it.

He told us to sell our TVs that they were to much a distraction, to put away ‘childish things’. The training will cover everything from what we eat, drink, do, think, say and much more.

Another part of the process has been to start learning Spanish, which has been fun and interesting to say the least. We picked up two complete (OT & NT) Spanish Bibles: this being the case because of where we feel the Father leading us to go; which are Central and South American regions.

Downsizing: getting less materialistic items for the sake of just getting them, or even to fulfill desires isn’t important to us any longer. Now we weigh things in the scales of calling and Divine purpose. Does what we desire to attain furthering the Kingdom and the Gospel thereof? This is the wisdom that drives us in what we don’t and do acquire in life.

Another one of the things Daddy has really laid strongly on my heart to do is to really buckle down and write a book. This is something I had dabble with in the past but put off doing, then when I picked it back up, Yahveh stopped me from completing it.

I fully believe it wasn’t it wasn’t the right time, nor the right focus on what He wanted it to deal with. But now He has laid it heavily upon my heart to revisit and finish writing this book.

We are both very excited to see where the next three years open up, to where Daddy leads us for His Kingdom!

SIGH

So we have been doing homeschooling for a few weeks and man it is hard to start. But I know in the end it will all be worth it. Getting on the right balance of things is a very hard thing as well.  I know the man reason we decided to do homeschooling for our kids is that the world seems to think it has the right to teach my children things that I disapprove of. Being able to home school opens doors for me to teach my children what I feel is important for them to know. I don’t have to allow them to be taught inappropriate information that will cause them to question truths. We have to really rely on God in this new transition of every area of our life.

We are also having to rely on God for finances in every area of our lives at this time. We have our bills paid but any left over for day-to-day life is well…. our FROG (fully relying on God.)

When things get this way. I get in a very (I want to Control) mommy mode. I hate not knowing when or where the money to pay for things is coming from. God knows.

Going through this season of LEAP is not for the faint of Heart. We are to Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Once we learn to put His will in our lives 1st then we will see everything else we need just fall into place.

This journey of Life is not for the Faint. If I stand firm and trust His word and promises then I will see the goodness of the Lord prevail in my life.

God is Still in Control!

We have been through a lot the last 2 weeks. Just want to share a few testimonies that God has done for us the last few days.

Last Monday when my husband got off work he went to leave and the van had antifreeze all under the van. He called me thankfully before he drove it. Well I called my dad and he informed me that we should not drive it at all. So I called my husband and told him that I would have to come get him.

This made us go from 2 vehicles down to 1. My husband was a wreck over the whole situations. For some odd reason in this situation I was at complete peace about it. Not once did I question the situation. My parents were leaving town for the week and we were able to get their other vehicle for the week to use.

When my parents got back into town my dad went to get the van. By the end of the day Thursday my Dad texted me and said that it was fixed and ready to be picked up. I asked him what was wrong with it and he said it had broken… I then fully expected for him to tell me how much it was going to cost since he fixed it. I asked him how much it cost and he then informed me that it was still under warranty.

God had given me a complete peace about the whole situation. I knew when it happened that there was nothing we could do about it. For we have put all our finances into our business and have nothing left to fix it. Now we were blessed with this issues being completely taken care of by the Grace of God. It was still under warranty.

God will see us through the trials and what seems like nothing. We will walk this out with our Leap of Faith! He said Leap, that the Time was Now! Now I will Walk in Faith Knowing He is In Control!

God Bless,

Just Have Faith! Leap! Fully Relying On God! 

Busy Busy Busy

We been busy for sure in the life of us. From doctor appointments to getting our Business ready to launch. Even getting homeschooling together for not only one child but 2, in two totally different class grades.

God has been working in our lives for sure. I know that I have been in very stressful mode lately but to be totally honest I have had a supernatural peace about things like none other.

Monday we had something that normally would just stress me out to the max but this time it is super different. I have not had any concern for it at all. Monday after my husband got off work he came outside to get in his van to come home. Before he got into the van he noticed antifreeze all over the ground. The van had something wrong with it. Thankfully he called me and I called my dad. At this time we are down to 1 vehicle but oddly enough I am at perfect peace over the situation. I know if needed in an emergency situation I can use my parent’s car.

Dan on the other hand has been fretting over the van. I told him it will be okay. I know that God will provide what we need when we need it most. I like this peace and want to have it at all times. I want to get to know my God(Abba) more and more so that I don’t fret over the things of this world. I want to know God inside and out, like He knows me.

More to come but just wanted to share about the peace God has given me over the last 2 to 3 week. Be Blessed

Leap Of Faith! Just Jump!

We have had a huge amount of activity going on in our home the last few weeks and God has and is still opening doors and opportunities for my family.

I have prayed for years to God for Him to show me what my oil in my house was. I have longed to know what that was. Finally a few weeks ago He revealed to me on my way to work my oil. He now has given prophetic dreams to Dan and showing me things and speaking to me about our situation over the last few weeks.

This Morning He revealed to me that, “The Time is NOW!” I am excited… We have been given a business opportunity that He has directed us to Take our Leap of Faith in.

Just Have Faith! Leap He says Fully Relying on God!

He has revealed to me that in my questioning and seeking His direction an answer that I know He gave. Last week the Lord answered me with a question… What is your desire? My desire has been to own my own company and to be able to make more than enough to support a full-time mission field life style along with giving the money away to those in need. I know that I have been called to the Mission Field since I was 16 years old. I long for the day where I can serve Him in the mission field full time.

Over the years I wondered why He has taken me through so many jobs in so many different areas of job titles. Management, Trainer, Team Lead, Customer Service, Computer IT, Card Services, Tech Support, Accounting, Call Center, Retail, Inventory, Marketing, and many other jobs in the process of life.

At this time I feel that God has taken me down this path for 1 ultimate purpose. That is to be able to handle all the areas of a business. This is my desire.

Another desire that I have had for about that long was to home-school my children. The last few years they also have longed to be home-schooled. This year the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to be able to home-school both my children.

So in the next 3 weeks, I will be completing one journey to start 2 new ones. I will start blogging again. Come follow us on this New Season and Journey God has began to reveal to us.

 

365 Days of Testimony Day 38

Daddy God is in the Details! I had to buy food and a few other things. As I was checking out I prayed for it to be under $150.00. As she rang my items it kept going up. I began to look for a way to help myself in the purchase. As I began to ask her a question she told me the total amount….. $146.29.

I asked her again for the total..  God is so Good. As I  type this I can’t help but think… Oh ye of little faith. Lord help my unbelief. Help me keep a renewed mind set.

Thank you for caring  about every detail in my life big and small.

25 & 18

When I came up to Ohio in January, I will admit that I had no excitement in me whatsoever for this state; I was born and raised here and once I finally left this state I said that I would never come back again. Yet, here I sit. The reasons why I have been led back here I will not venture into, maybe at a later point when Yahveh releases me I will, but not at this time.

When I got here I was angry at the Almighty for taking me away from my wife and kids, and I had no end in sight for that anger I directed towards Him. But something happened. Something that relates to 25 and the 18. It wasn’t until 25 days after I came up here that I surrendered myself over to Yeshua ben-Elohim; you may be asking, “I thought you were already a Christian?” by saying I surrendered to Him I am not saying that I wasn’t a Christian: you can be a Christian and not live surrendered to Yeshua; I will tell you that is a miserable way to live life (, I can speak from experience!).

In the Ha’Davar Elohim we find that the number 7 is a representation of completion and perfection: 2+5=7: on the 25th day of me coming up here I found my completion and perfection by surrendering my entire being: body, soul and spirit to Ben-Ha’Elohim. There is so much that He has been showing me, teaching me and I’m still learning every second of every day; this is a process that has no ending.
I made the mistake in thinking that I had learned every lesson that He had to teach me and that I was to be home (in Texas) already; Yahveh caused me to be delayed in returning, and again I found myself getting irritated with Him. I couldn’t understand what was left that He had that I needed before I could go back. But then, one Sunday morning, I found myself presented with that very thing. It came over after church lunch with my uncle: that conversation put me into the possession of some books for the very things which I was lacking—things that Daddy (Yahveh) knew that I so desperately needed.

So you may be wondering where the 18 comes into play, and why. Yesterday was 18 days until I leave Ohio to come back to Texas, but what is so significant about 18? In Lashon Ha’Kodesh (The Holy Tongue, i.e. Ivrit / Hebrew) the number 18 is made up of two Hebrew consonants: Chet (ח) and Yud (י). Yud has the numerical value of 10, while Chet has the numerical value of 8; together they spell the Word Chai (חי) which is the Hebrew word for “life”; the plural is Chayim (חיים). When Jews give gifts of money they do so in increments of 18, that view it that they are giving “life” (חי) to someone. Yesterday, my 18th day until I leave, I came into possession of more books without prior knowledge that it was happening. These books deal with things that my wife and I have discussed, that I felt Daddy (Yahveh) laying on my heart to do; never once did these subjects come up last night.

I see this as Avi (My Father) giving me confirmation in both of these situations: on the 25th (7) I found my completion and perfection in His Son; and 18 days out from going home—He blesses me with life that will help nurture not only me but my family as well.

Baruch HaShem Adonai!!!!

365 Days of Testimony: Day 37

I know that it has been a few days since I have put anything. Thankfully the 365 day challenge doesn’t mean necessarily in a row.

I was going to write about this testimony yesterday but I thankfully  I didn’t because now it means more to me anyway.

For the last month or two every time it rains I have been doing something different at work. I work at a Juvenile Facility and after we get through the gate house as I call it most of us have to walk a ways to get to our dorms we work on. This walk for me is 12 to 15 minutes one way. This walk is also not covered in any way like the other side of the facility is. I am also not able to carry my umbrella in due to the end of it having a metal tip. So if it is storming, pretty much you get soaked before reaching your dorm.

About a month ago or so I thought about it and decided that I would start speaking to the Storm and telling it, “Be the Power of Jesus Christ Name, you will not rain on me and I will not get wet.” To those co-workers around me they probably think that I am nuts… That is okay. I know that there is mighty power in the Name of Jesus. I also know that if Jesus spoke to the storm…..So can I.

Since I began to speak this to the storms that have come over my work place, not once has it actually rained on me when I am outside walking.

Today is a perfect example of this. The only chance of rain in the forecast today was at 5pm. This rain would come when I got off. Unless it hit earlier. Around 4:15pm I was doing some routine things on my dorm and that requires me to go on 4 different wings of the dorm. Our dorm is in an X shape so I have to go on all four wings. I started out on the 1st one, by the time I was on the second one I began to hear loud thunder. When I reached the hallway after the second wing, I saw my Supervisor and 2 of my case workers standing in the hall talking. I was singing, “When the Thunder Rolls” under my breath as I walk the the 3rd wing. One of the case managers asked me what I was saying and I told her that I was just singing an old country song by Garth Brooks. I told her that storm is coming. Then I went onto my 3rd wing. As I got to the end of my wing to head out to the 4th wing I noticed that my Supervisor was in a bit of a hurry to his office. I asked him if he was in a hurry. He just smiled. I went on to my 4th wing and when I looked up saw my Supervisor rushing out the door. When I completed wing 4 and got back in the hallway I noticed that the place was very dark, and quiet….. I looked around and both the Case Managers and the Supervisor’s office lights were out and the doors were shut.. They had all left in a big hurry. Deserted the safety of the dorm and had ran out to try to out run the storm. This was now 30 minutes before I could leave to go home. I could have left early but instead I had already spoke to the storm. When I was on the 3rd wing and heard the thunder… I was speaking to the storm…. “Thunder, Lighting, and Rain come on down…. but when I leave you must rain…. by the Power of Jesus Christ Name”

As I sat in my office finishing some last minute changes that came through 15 minutes until time to clock out, I kept thinking they all left early trying to beat the storm before it poured. I was shutting down my computer for the night and getting my stuff ready to go when I heard the calmness and the rain stop. I finished my last few minutes of handing the lady in the picket the updated info and told her have a good evening.

As I walked out the door, the rain had stopped completely. I instantly thanked God, then had a huge grin on my face… Why one might ask….. Because I have grown to understand the power of speaking to the storms at my work. I know that my co-workers left before the end of the day trying to get ahead of the storm, and they got wet.

When I got to my car the sun was shining very bright and the sky was blue. As I sat in my car I began to think of how we as Christians are. Most the time when we are entering a storm or know that a storm is coming… we pick up what we can and try to out run the storm. We can not out run the storms of life. We will get wet no matter how much we try to out run the storms. Perfect example was how my co-workers who got in a hurry before the time was right (time to leave) to go home, and ended up being caught by the storm anyway. When we get in a hurry and try to do things on our own timing we mess up. We get at times poured on…

If we would instead learn not to try to out run the storm, and time the storm with our own idea of when it will hit. If we are patient and wait for the proper timing and then move. If we would just learn instead of fearing and running away to get out of the storm…. If we would just learn to speak to our storms and to trust that what we speak will happen. I had things I needed to do. I had to wait for the proper time to leave my work. I had spoken to the storms many times before this and had not been rained on as well. I had to trust that God would do what He had down in the past and by giving me back my authority to speak to the storm through Jesus Christ, I was able to confidently walk out of my job without being rained on or getting wet.

Stop Running From The Storms of Your Life….

Speak To the Storm and See it Obey!!!

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