It has been at least a week since I have written anything on this blog. Forgive me for not writing more often. Been a very busy and revealing last week.
We are going through things that is not uncommon to any married couple or family with children. We had honestly gotten our lives so busy that we had forgotten to put God first before any of those decisions. We always had God but seeking Him first was not always the way we did things.
As I sit at the coffee shop this morning in my study and fellowship with the owner God began to reveal things to me.
Let me back up, my day started out rough kinda. My husband didn’t get any sleep again last night so he tossed and turned all night. Which in turn keep me up throughout the night. His work alarm went off at 5:20am. Then my alarm to get the girls up and off to school went off at 6:30am. After they were dropped off today I headed to the coffee shop. A place where I say is my saving grace lately. I have been meeting God there. Some people have prayer closets. I personally like to spend my time in the Lord at the coffee shop.
As I headed that way, I received a text from my husband. M222…. I think I am going to lose my job. Usually I would began to nag and panic over this. Instead I prayed that God would be with my husband and that he would show us what to do. As I began to pray for my husband I remembered that last week he actually was sent home early due to not feeling well. That gave him the opportunity to have orientation for another job he had applied too. He was given that job but the store does not open for another 2 weeks. This was brought to my memory as I prayed for him. God has already given him another job if he loses this one. God has us in His hands and will never leave us nor forsake us. His ways are higher than our ways. Sometimes in order to get out of where we are He will let us be squeezed to get us uncomfortable and to have us step in a direction we might not have done otherwise.
As I was in the House of Prayer this morning I didn’t have this aw moment of God speaking to me like He has before. Some times that speaking comes through His word instead. Which we get only when we open and study His word. I began studying James yesterday, not getting far into the first chapter due to being it is a living word, digesting it takes longer to chew at times.
I began to speak to the owner of the coffee shop when I came out of the House of Prayer this morning. She asked me how my time with God was. I told her good, still waiting on His word though. But that He would and does speak also through the word.
As I return to my study of James I came across the verse where it is talking about asking in Faith and then making sure that we don’t doubt what we have asked for. For if we start to waver in our faith then we are like double minded.
When I was looking at this verse, I began to think about what it means to be double minded.
If I ask for something but don’t believe that I will receive it then why even ask for it? You see we ask with doubt and not the confidence that it will be given to us. Why do we do this? Why do we have a hard time believing that what we ask for He will give to us? One of the reasons is because in our earthly relationships we so often are disappointed. We are taught to depend on no one else except for ourselves.
So when we ask our Daddy for things and it is not done immediately we start to waver and doubt, thinking that we have to do it in our own abilities. We have to do it for ourselves because we don’t want to be disappointed.
We have to learn to trust and have faith in our Daddy for the things we ask for.
The owner began to tell me about a movie…..
There was a woman and Jesus was behind her. He told her to fall backwards and He would catch her. The woman was hesitant at first but soon gave in and fell back. He caught her. With the excitement of Him catching her she got back up and began to fall back again…. but this time without Jesus asking her to fall. She then fell…. You see she had thrown herself the second time on her own accord and not when asked to take that step of faith in Jesus. As time went one Jesus stood in front of her and said now that you have learned to trust me… fall back….. the woman was like no… looking behind her and seeing no one she walked away…. Jesus had once again asked her to fall back…. but she wavered in her faith and walked away.
This short conversation really went deep with me today. If we take that Leap of Faith and jump or fall back when He tells us to fall then He will be there to catch us. If we step out on our own accord without His leading we at times will fall without being caught. I will tell you that He is faithful to help us back up but we are to wait on His leading.
We need to make sure that we are waiting on His leading and not getting excited in our call or purpose and jumping ahead of His leading.
For me this is one of the hardest challenges that I face. I know my calling and purpose but waiting on the right timing is hard. I have to remember that I should trust in His leading and not to fall into the trap of being double minded in the wait but to let my faith to worketh patience. For through the work of patience we become made perfect and complete, lacking nothing.